Warrior Cat Moments: Idiotic Names
by Akasuna no Rin
Summary: Just like humans, cats have their moments. Sometimes the moments that they have this moment is not the greatest time to have it. Who knows where the moments come from...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: My idea, but Warriors is Erin Hunter's, all three of them.**

**Bold is me talking to you.**

Warrior Cat moments: Idiotic Names

"I, Shadowstar, leader of ShadowClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. He has trained hard to understand the ways of you noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn. Nightpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect the Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

"I do," Nightpaw mewed.

"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior name. Nightpaw, from this moment on you will be know as, Nightlight. StarClan honors your bravery, and justice, and we welcome you as a full warrior of ShadowClan"

"Nightlight, Nightlight, Nightlight!"

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Starlight went into the Moonstone(**This is in the old territory) **at a fast pace. Once she was up to the stone, she pressed her nose to it and went to StarClan.

"Hello Starlight," the leader before her, Thunderstar, said.

"Hello, Thunderstar," Starlight meowed to him. She went through with her lives, the first and fifth being the most painfull.

"Now, Starlight, you are officially the leader of ThunderClan. I hail you by your new name, Starstar." Thunderstar yowled.

"Starstar, Starstar, Starstar!"

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"I, Riverstar, leader of RiverClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. He has trained hard to understand the ways of you noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn. Mousepaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect the Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

"I do" Mousepaw meowed confidately.

"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior name. Mousepaw, from this moment on you will be know as, Mousebrain. StarClan honors your speed, and good swimming, and we welcome you as a full warrior of RiverClan"

"Mousebrain, Mousebrain, Mousebrain!"

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"I, Windstar, leader of WindClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of you noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn. Turtlepaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect the Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

"I do," Turtlepaw meowed.

"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior name. Turtlepaw, from this moment on you will be know as, Turtleflight. StarClan honors your honesty, and swiftness, and we welcome you as a full warrior of WindClan"

"Turtleflight, Turtleflight, Turtleflight!"


	2. More Idiotic Names

**Disclaimer: My idea, but _Warriors_ belongs to the Erins.**

**Thank you to my reviewers for these ideas! Especially Cloudfire** **and xx-Secrets-xx**

**Bold is me talking to you.**

Chapter 2

"I, Thunderstar, leader of ThunderClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down upon this apprentice. He has trained hard to understand the ways of you noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn. Thunderpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect the Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

"I do" Thunderpaw replied.

"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior name, Thunderpaw, from this moment on you will be know as Thunderpath. StarClan honors your friendship, and good will, and we welcome you as a full warrior of ThunderClan."

"Thunderpath, Thunderpath, Thunderpath!"

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"I, Riverstar, leader of RiverClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down upon this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of you noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn. Kittypaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect the Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

"I do"

"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior name, Kittypaw, from this moment on you will be know as Kittypet. StarClan honors your courage, and good hunting skills, and we welcome you as a full warrior of RiverClan."

"Kittypet, Kittypet, Kittypet!"

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"I, Shadowstar, leader of ShadowClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down upon this apprentice. He has trained hard to understand the ways of you noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn. Foxpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect the Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

"I do"

"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior name, Foxpaw, from this moment on you will be know as Foxdung. StarClan honors your agility, and quick thinking, and we welcome you as a full warrior of ShadowClan."

"Foxdung, Foxdung, Foxdung!"

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"I, Windstar, leader of WindClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down upon this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of you noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn. Crowpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect the Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

"I do"

"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior name, Crowpaw, from this moment on you will be know as Crowfood. StarClan honors your fighting skills, and trust, and we welcome you as a full warrior of ShadowClan."

"Crowfood, Crowfood, Crowfood!"


	3. Even more Idiotic names

**Disclaimer: My idea, but Warriors belongs to the Erins**

**Bold is me talking.**

Chapter 3

"I, Thunderstar, leader of ThunderClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. He has trained hard to understand the ways of you noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn. Dogpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect the Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

"I do"

"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior name. Dogpaw, from this moment on you will be know as, Dogfight. StarClan honors your readiness, and promise, and we welcome you as a full warrior of ThunderClan."

"Dogfight, Dogfight, Dogfight!"

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"I, Riverstar, leader of RiverClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn. Brokenpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect the Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

"I do" she responded.

"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior name. Brokenpaw, from this moment on you will be know as, Brokenheart. StarClan honors your wit, and quick thinking, and we welcome you as a full warrior of RiverClan."

"Brokenheart, Brokenheart, Brokenheart!"

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"I, Shadowstar, leader of ShadowClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. He has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn. Deadpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect the Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

"I do" Deadpaw murmured.

"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior name. Deadpaw, from this moment on you will be know as, Deadhead. StarClan honors your good hunting, and honesty, and we welcome you as a full warrior of ShadowClan."

"Deadhead, Deadhead, Deadhead!"

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Ambersky looked down at her two kits. One was a sky color, the other a brown color that reminded her of her dirt. Her mate, Willowbranch, walked in.

"What do you want to name them?" he asked her.

"I want this one to be Featherkit." she pointed using her tail to the sky blue one.

"What about this she-cat?" he asked of the brown one.

"Dungkit," she stated simply.

"Beautiful. Dungkit of WindClan."


	4. So Many Stupid Warrior Names!

**Disclaimer: Geez, I don't own warriors!**

**Author's Note: Thank you so much for reviewing so much! This is my most popular story, and my parents think I need to go into a career as a comedian. I don't agree, but suits them at the moment. Here's another chapter!**

_Chapter 4_

"I, Thunderstar, leader of ThunderClan, call upon our warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. He has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as warriors in their turn. Forestpaw, do you promise to protect and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your own life?"

"I do" he spoke.

"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior names:Forestpaw, from this moment on you will be known as Forerstfire. StarClan honors your bravery and your strength and we welcome you as a full warrior of ThunderClan."

"Forestfire, Forestfire, Forestfire!"

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The queen sat in her bed of moss, looking at her only kit. She was a metallic gray color, and it reminded her of what the twolegs called "metal". When her mate, Shadowpelt came in he asked her what she wanted to name her.

"Metalkit." she said.

"Meddlekit? Odd name," he replied, stupefied at why his mate would want to call her kit 'Meddlekit' as in being mischievious. "Whatever you say," turning and walking out, with the queen, Skyheart, staring at him open mouthed.

"I said, oh, never mind" she yelled at her mate, frustrated that he had misheard her.

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"I, Shadowstar, leader of ShadowClan, call upon our warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as warriors in their turn. Waveringpaw, do you promise to protect and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your own life?"

"I do" she tittered.

"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior names:Waveringpaw, from this moment on you will be known as Waveringheart. StarClan honors your speed and your endurance and we welcome you as a full warrior of ShadowClan."

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A queen of WindClan looked at her only kit. He had a weird cross thing on his back, and it made her think of the symbol on the thing that twolegs kept their herbs in.

"So, you thought of a name yet?" her mate, Runningheart, asked.

"Firstaidkit," she said, then shushed him, "I have my reasons." she said before he could say anything. He decided to leave it be. He walked out.

"Firstaidkit, I wonder if you will be a Medicine Cat?"

**The last one was thought of by my dad, who hasn't read the books, but I talk about it enough for him to know this. I cracked myself up (sorry) at the Meddlekit/Metalkit one.**


	5. More Cats That Are High on Catnip

**Disclaimer: Don't own warriors.**

_Chapter 5_

Foxheart looked down at her kit. She hadn't named her, Her fur was sticking up at odd angles, and she was really, um, what was the word. Oh, right. Poofy. Then she had an idea.

She turned to her mate and said: "I'll name her Poofykit. She's just so poofy!" she said. Her mate didn't have a problem, her mate was random all the time, and this was just one of her phases.

"Poofy, poofy, poofy!" she said. Then again, he thought, this is what he got for liking Foxheart.

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Tinytail looked at her enormous kit. This kit was huge! She wondered what to name her. Bigkit was too unoriginal. How about-.

"What do you want name him?" her mate asked.

"Fatkit. Bigkit is too unoriginal." she told him. Her mate, who had been up for a while on night watch, was still sleepy and told her: "All right"

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"I, Shadowstar, leader of ShadowClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of you noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn. Heavypaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect the Clan even at the cost of your life?"

"I do"she answered.

"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Heavypaw, from this moment on you will be know as Heavyheart. StarClan honors your decisions, and skillfulness, and we welcome you as a full warrior of ShadowClan."

"Heavyheart, Heavyheart, Heavyheart!"

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The queen looked back down at her kit. It was a pale green color. That is weird. That's it!

"I'll name him Weirdkit!" she yelled. The other queens and visitors looked at her oddly. They all thought she was the one that should be named Weird-something.


	6. These Cats Need Help

**Sorry I took so long! Here is another round of names for you guys, and thanks so much for reviewing so much!**

**Disclaimer: Now if I owned Warriors, why would I be writing fanfiction?**

Grandkit bounced up to the highrock, waiting for his apprentice ceremony.

"From this day forward, until he has earned his warrior name, this kit will be called Grandpaw," the leader announced.

"Ravenflight, you are ready for your first apprentice. You will begin Grandpaw's training. I expect you to pass all you learned from Fishfoot to this young apprentice and share with him the skills you have learned".

Grandpaw and Ravenflight touched noses, ready to learn from the other new things.

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"I, Shadowstar, leader of ShadowClan, call upon our warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn. Monsterpaw, do you promise to protect and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your own life?"

"I do," she replied, wondering what her name would be.

"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior name: Monsterpaw, from this moment on you will be known as monsterheart. StarClan honors your bravery and your strength and we welcome you as a full warrior of ShadowClan."

"Monsterheart, Monsterheart, Monsterheart"

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"I, Riverstar, leader of RiverClan, call upon our warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. He has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn. Whitepaw, do you promise to protect and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your own life?"

"I do," he said bravely.

"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior name: Whitepaw, from this moment on you will be known as Whiteblack. StarClan honors your decisiveness and your intelligence and we welcome you as a full warrior of RiverClan."

"Whiteblack, Whiteblack, Whiteblack!"

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"I, Windstar, leader of WindClan, call upon our warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in his turn. Angelpaw, do you promise to protect and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your own life?"

"I do" she tittered, like the angel her name suggested she was.

"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior name: Angelpaw, from this moment on you will be known as Angelhead. StarClan honors your prettiness and your unsureness and we welcome you as a full warrior of WindClan."

"Angelhead, Angelhead, Angelhead!"

**So, here is your good old stupid names. Sorry again for taking so long.**


	7. Cats in Their Natural Habitat

**Sorry for the long wait. I will now give you the next chapter. Or the disclaimer, but that doesn't count.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors. **

Chapter 7

The sandy colored queen woke up from the herbs that had made her go to sleep. She looked at the kits, for she hadn't yet. The first was a look alike of his father, who had died in battle. She decided to name the kit after his father. Ravenkit.

The queen turned to the other kit. At first she thought someone had puked multi-colored vomit all over her side, but when she saw the vomit squirm, she knew it was her kit.

"GSC!!" she yowled, then passed out. A queen walking into the nursery herd her yell it, then thought, 'so she wants to name her GSCkit? What an odd name but it is her choice. From then on, the kit was GSCkit.

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Rockheart walked up to the moonstone. He pressed his nose nose to the cold stone.

"Welcome, Rockheart. I knew you would go far," his former mentor told him. His former mentor was also his former leader.

"Can we get on with it? I have concert back at camp to get to, and we don't want another mob of drunken cats," he told him, shuddering. The other cats shuddered too, thinking of the last time it had happened.

"Yes, well let's get going," a random cat said.

So Rockheart went through this ceremony without anything bad happening.

"From now on, you shall be known as Rockstar!" yowled one cat, yet all of them together. And so Rockstar went back to ShadowClan with only a mob of HALF drunken cats.

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Emptypaw walked up to the Highrock. She wasn't sure why she had to go here, but about two seconds ago she had. Or maybe three. Then the leader jumped onto the Highrock and meowed for all cats that could catch their own prey come to the Highrock, so she turned around to head back to the Apprentice Den,when her friend Silverpaw mewed, "Oh no, Emptypaw you can catch your own prey, so come on."

"Oh really? I can? Cool."

"I, Riverstar, leader of RicerClan, call upon our warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn. Emptypaw, do you promise to protect and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your own life?"

"Huh, what? Oh, yea, I do"

"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior name: Emptypaw, from this moment on you will be known as Emptyhead. StarClan honors your emptyheadedness and your emptyheadedness and we welcome you as a full warrior of RiverClan."

"Yay, cool."

"Emptyhead, Emptyhead, Emptyhead!"

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This queen wanted to be different. No naming her kits names like, Silverkit or Stonekit. Oh no, she's going to name her kits something never thought of. She looked at her first kit. Regular queens would name her something like Brownkit or Barkkit. This queen was going to her Pookit, cause when she went to make dirt, it looked exactly like her kit.

Her second kit looked like a kit that would normally be named something like Sandkit or Yellowkit. This queen was going to name this kit Kittykit, and when he grew to a warrior, Kittycat!

"No one will dare make fun of these names!" she mewed after telling the Clan her names.

Meanwhile

"Blueherb, what did you put in her food?" asked a suspicious cat.

"That's for me to know and you to find out!" Blueherb cackled.

**Now you see that some of the queens and leaders are being drugged! But some aren't being drugged, they were just born like that.**


	8. Please Help These Kittys

**I am sorry that I haven't been updating this as much as I should, but I'm obsessed with Naruto at the moment and I have a hard time concentrating on anything else without babbling about it on and on... see, I'm doing it now. Well, here is the next chapter!**

**Disclaimer: ...No duh.**

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Moonpaw was busy laughing with his friends. They never really did anything worthwhile, so it's a wonder they weren't kicked out of the Clan or something. He and his best friend Openpaw did nothing that was of any worth what so ever. That's why they were surprised when they were told they were going to become warriors that very day. Openpaw said that he had heard his mentor saying it was just so that they didn't have to deal with them anymore.

"May all cats who can catch there own prey please come to the highrock" yowled the leader, Thunderstar. Moonpaw started to get up, then Openpaw yanked him back down, snickering. Moonpaw finally managed to get up there with Openpaw.

"Finally. Come up here Moopaw, Openpaw" They moved to the front slowly. Some cats told them to hurry up.

"I, Thunderstar, leader of ThunderClan, call upon our warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn. Moonpaw, Openpaw, do you promise to protect and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your own life?"

"No duh" they both said.

"...Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior names: Moonpaw, from this moment on you will be known as Moonshine. Openpaw, from this moment on you will be known as Openmouth. StarClan honors your bravery and your strength and we welcome you as a full warriors of ThunderClan."

"Moonshine, Openmouth, Moonshine, Openmouth, Moonshine, Openmouth!"

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Honeyfern was enjoying the lovely scenery. Because everyone knows that the inside of the nursery was very scenic. She looked down upon her one kit, a she-cat. She was golden brown and beautiful. Just when the queen thought it was time to name her, she heard a scream. Thinking that they were being attacked, she curled around her kit. Then she heard a yell from the dirt tunnel, the place for the unmentionable to happen.

"GSC (Great StarClan)WHO LEFT THIS GIANT TURD HERE FOR ALL TO SEE?! YOU SHOULD PUT A TAIL ON IT AND CALL IT A CAT!!" came the scream from the dirt tunnel. Honeyfern turned away, as she knew who did it. Right then the screamer came barging into the nursery. "OK Honeyfern, I know you did it. I really didn't have to see that and now I think I'm scarred for life. How about you call your kit something to commemorate this moment?" the cat named Largetail said. She left after this.

"She actually has a good idea, don't you agree, Bigturdkit?" Honeyfern said to her only kit. The kit shifted while sleeping, unaware of the grave mistake her mom had made for her life.

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"I, Riverstar, leader of RiverClan, call upon our warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. He has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn. Redpaw, do you promise to protect and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your own life?"

"I do," he said as if he had something stuck in his teeth. Like he always did.

"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior name: Redpaw, from this moment on you will be known as Redneck. StarClan honors your funny talk and your courage and we welcome you as a full warrior of RiverClan."

"Redneck, Redneck, Redneck!"

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The queen named Nightheart looked at her hit. She was a bright red like color. Nightkeart had once been a kittypet, and remembered something vaguely from that time. When she looked at the kit, she got close to remembering it.

Then she remembered. The really tiny twolegs that lived with her used to watch it on the box with moving colors. What was it? Oh yea. This queen had a name that would always make her remember her heritage. She looked at the tiny red kit, thinking of her fondly. She turned to her mate, the one who supported her every step of the way.

"I know what I want to name her." she told him. He waited, and waited. Then when he realized that Nightheart had no intention of saying it, he asked " So, what are you going to name her?"

"Elmokit."

"Elmokit?"

"Yes."

When her mate heard this name, he suddenly wanted to go kill some little bunnies. Slowly and painfully. Then dragging them through the dirt. But remembering that he was the supportive mate, he said, "What a lovely name"

"I thought so. Don't you, Elmokit?" she said. Her mate suddenly ran out of the camp. When he came back, he had brought several rabbits and mice as fresh-kill.

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**I hope this is as good as my reviewers say the other chapters are. Just so you know, GSC means Great StarClan and is a version of OMG. I would thank the person who came up with this idea, but that person was anonymous. **


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